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| Benedict, November 2021 Benedictine Abbey in Pecos, New Mexico |
Up the stairs we go, where Benedict's gaze reminds us of the vows taken by the community. I consider how the three vows find expression in my own life. The vow of obedience is a call to surrender and submit to an authority greater than my own. Obedience is laying down the idea that I know what's best and ceasing my efforts to arrange for life to go my way. Living into the vow of obedience reveals how often I try to exert control and conjure potential solutions and improvements over the smallest circumstances in an effort to keep the feeling of being in charge.
What does Obedience really look like? I volunteer at a local food pantry. Sometimes I look around and see how a small adjustment might the pantry more efficient for our guests. I may even ruminate over it for the whole day. If I wanted to, I could talk to other volunteers to get their opinion and possibly make the change happen. Except - I am not in charge. I am under the authority of the director, who is a good director. While I can offer suggestions, the director sees the whole perspective and determines what is best. And my efforts to improve and control can be damaging and bothersome, even when I think I'm being helpful. A posture of Obedience reminds me of my place and knowing my place frees me to serve our guests with a gracious presence.
This is small scale Obedience - and small scale is a good teacher. If I can learn to relinquish control when it comes to arranging the shelves at the food pantry, something in me can live with greater trust when life calls for it - and life is calling for it.
