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| Full Body Self Portrait by Mattis Grunsky |
This post is part of an on-going Lenten series that began Ash Wednesday.
"Immediately he made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead to the other side,
while he dismissed the crowds.
And after had had dismissed the crowds, he went up the mountain by himself to pray.
When evening came, he was there alone," (Matthew 14:22-23)
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"When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd." (Matthew 9:36)
We are about mid-way through Lent. Yesterday was the Third Sunday of Lent and there are two more Sundays before Palm Sunday. I'm remembering all the years I have either given something up or taken something on as a Lenten practice. I think of the optimism at the beginning, the hopes I have for the practice to open an experience of honesty and depth. The desire to walk with Jesus in prayer and reflection, remembering his life and death and life. It's about this time, when the initial shine and enthusiasm fade and the hard work of staying with the practice, and staying with Jesus begins. Will I give up? Will I get distracted? Will I fade away? Will I double down in some sort of feat of strength? Or will I just continue to be as present as I can? As Rebecca Wells asks in one of her novels, "How tender can we bear to be?"
Since Ash Wednesday I have been considering these two gospel occasions from Matthew where Jesus is with the crowd. I've identified and named some of the faces from my own "inner crowd" - and found that Jesus meets my inner crowd with more compassion than I do. Some members of the inner crowd are for me to name in private - which is likely true for you also.
Where will we go from here as we stride more deeply into Lent? Time will tell - the day itself will tell.
When I look at Grunsky's self portrait, I see a relaxed, open posture - and his raised hand and sign of willingness to be-with, and to go. What does it feel like to take that posture into the day and into the days ahead?
Today's vista & prayer:
- If you have adopted a practice for Lent, what have you noticed over the last few weeks since Ash Wednesday?
- How does Grunsky's painting speak to you?
- We pray: Jesus, long ago you dismissed the crowd to be alone with God. On another occasion you saw the crowd and were moved with compassion. Grant me with the grace of staying with you this day so that now matter where I go or what I do, I am aware of your presence. Amen.
